| So I havent done this in a while... |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|07:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Luther Vandross ~love the ove your with | ] |
I dont know I guess I have'nt had time to update my book of terrible thoughts for a good while, I honestly havent even taken the time to look at most of yours. I have come to the conception in life that we never find what makes us happy, I went through a lot of long struggles trying to "FIND" myself and what I want to be with and who I want to be with, I even found a Girfriend who was at the time suitable for what I need. The world is a crazy place, I mean there I was totaly head over heel's for this girl and then suddenly we return to school and I start getting busy, and the person who I liked before I developed feelings for her comes around just makes things so hard. I dont understand how I can care about her and still somewhat want to be with her but then look across the school and just imagine how happy me and this other person could PROBABLY be. I mean I think we are compatable... but then I dont want to hurt anybody and I dont want to be hurt, i mean I think that she would be torn up if I broke up with her, but I think I would be hurt if I left in pursute of the other. I dont know waht to do, maybe I should just be single again and that would solve alot of problems but then I think I would get like I was last time, and I dont want to be like that. Fucking A, and I thought I was just about to write about happy stuff. |
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| Marching Band Kicks Ass... |
[Jul. 19th, 2005|10:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Commando March | ] |
This is my second day of marching band and I don't have one complaint (except that my traps are sort of sore) but nothing serios. IDK I thhought that this would be another walk through the park and say hey band season but honestly it hasn't. I think that I am accepted in band for who I am nothing more, nothing less. Our music is awesome, the theme is "Create you own adventure" but the mucic is still bad ass. I didn't think that I would join band again just because I am somewhat better at theatre and it's what I want to do but I really LOVE music and I like sharing it with people so Marching Band and I just sorta work together. I have had fun for the last 3 day b/c I had fun at Abbi-Elise's and then 2 days at band camp. But enough band talk for now. I would just like to say thank you to Abbi- Elise I have (somewhat) opened up my mind thanks) in many ways that I never thought I would. I miss you and I love you, and wish me luck. |
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| A little rambling rant/lesson about Howell |
[Jul. 15th, 2005|03:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ludacriss feat.lil flip ~FUCK YOU | ] |
So this morning we went to go see the new version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory... I reall hate it when people disrepect me, especially when I cant get away from them. I think that PDA should be outlawed or atleast not take place around me, it pisses me off especially when it's right next to me... I hate people who tell me one thing and then demonstrate another... I dont know what to think of some of the people that I have once called friends... When I am angry I dont talk much because if I talk it will be a smart remark and I usually end up beating someones ass... I think I just lost total respect for someone this morning... Gus Langley is my NIGGA... Though I started on shaky grounds with Courtney I really like her now, she makes Gus happy and that makes me happy... Because I think that the people of the world today dont know how to treat their friends I will only be hanging out with those who I feel comfortable around... Long uncomfortable car-rides make me angry enough to kill a person... Our restaurant's opening went well yeaterday... I dont know what it is, people ask for one thing and you give it to them, and then they ask for another thing and you give it to them (trying to please them), but then when you feel that you have satisfied the need the person goes and gets what they started out with.( IDK if anyone understood that... Thanks to all of you who actually give a damn about the thoughts and emotions that your friends/those who care about you experience because respect/love for ones self and the people that surround them will take you farther than anything else in life... Oh yea and FUCK YOU ( that person should know who they are, and just for a clue... it's not a female) Monte' J. Howell |
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| A Chance... |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|10:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  save me | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DeanMartin ~Your nobody till somebody loves you | ] |
So I finally got the balls to tell a girl who I admire how I feel about her and she shot me down ( and because I know your gonna read this I am not mad at all, I just want to prove a point).Of course I cannot get mad about her not liking me ya know I just dont understand why we all cant have a chance. I mean since the end of the year alot of us who have felt like we are somewhat alone and really want a partner and most of us find single people of the opposite sex to try to court with but we never get a fighting chance. I mean of course there are some creeps and other people who ya know people dont typically want to be around and I can undertand that, but I feel like the people that it is happening to are Single, Attractive, and good people to be around who could really make another human beings life better, but we never get a chance. I mean it seems like me being the decent guy that I am would be able to have a chance to make a female who may not have natural be attracted to me but if I were given time would probably be knocked off their feet by me, any number of people who havent gotten a chance. I mean one simple date couldnt hurt anything, if it doesnt go well there is always life as normal and if there is smooth sailing ya know maybe my theory on this is correct. I mean one simple date that could change someones whole opinion of another, is that too much to ask for ? IDK, I guess im sorta depressed or stressed out b/c of stuff like this but I am sick and tored of being alone. Reply with your opinion and insight, im dying to know how everyone feels about this. |
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| This is my song that I sing to myself about girls... |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|11:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejected | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sammy Davis Jr. ~ Hey There | ] |
HEY THERE, YOU WITH THE STARS IN YOUR EYES
LOVE NEVER MADE A FOOL OF YOU
YOU USED TO BE TOO WISE
HEY THERE, YOU ON THAT HIGH FLYING CLOUD
THO' SHE WON'T THROW A CRUMB TO YOU
YOU THINK SOME DAY SHE'LL COME TO YOU
BETTER FORGET HER
HER WITH HER NOSE IN THE AIR
SHE HAS YOU DANCING ON A STRING
BREAK IT AND SHE WON'T CARE
WON'T YOU TAKE THIS ADVICE
I HAND YOU LIKE A BROTHER
OR ARE YOU NOT SEEING THINGS TOO CLEAR
ARE YOU TOO MUCH IN LOVE TO HEAR
IS IT ALL GOING IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER |
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| "I'm tired of living and scared of dying" |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005|02:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | As long as she needs me ~ Sammy Davis Jr. | ] |
So I have tried to not post about girls lately because I realize that people have problems of their own and to add in my two cents of burdne into their lives just would'nt be fair. But fuck that I am really pissed off and it's like a million people and amillion things. Like earlier yesterday I was pissed at Paul b/c of something that went down and I dont know why I got so bent out of shape, he didnt insult me or tell me what I need to do but I was pissed and I got the feeling that he was pissed too. So we wnt out to celebrate KT Truett's B-day and Paul is like the nicest person ever to me. By the time five o-clock roled aroun I was pissed at everyone (in general) except for gus and my mom. So I was fine for the rest of the evening I went to the mall with Tyler and we went to his house, we were expecting Abbi-Elise but she couldn't make it so Andy came over. And then some dumb son of a bitch calls me for the second time and tells me to stay away from Ann MacDougall. I was like what the hell,leave me alone. I cussed him to hell and back because he wouldnt tell me his name and he kept saying that his name is Tony Shavalli ( who was a wrestling commentator in the 90's ) anyway I want to kill whoever that was. I feel all mixed up now. Sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I feel like I just want the whole world to die, sometimes I want to die. Of course before all of you get worried, I wont kill myself, but I guess I'm tired of the bullshit. All I have ever asked for is love, honesty and a friendship(and though sometimes I feel that I have the best friends in the world, at other times I feel like they dont give a damn about me).I dont know if any of you know who in hell did this but tell them to stop unless they want to die,b/c it's not about Ann, it;s about making me feel uncomfortable. And if it's ine of you, please stop that shit b/c I already have enough going onand I dont need anymore problems. Anyway on a happy note, Abbi elise is AMAZING and give me a call 678-471-5565. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|12:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Dont worry about it | ] |
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| Seeking and additional member to the three Musketeers... |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|12:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hurry and apply | ] |
| [ | music |
| | No music | ] |
Ya know I really enjoy hanging out with my normal friends who I usually hang out with, every time we hang out it seems that we learn some type of life lesson and at the same time have a really good time. Over the summer I just started to realize how much I've been staying at home, and of course I was like "what the hell" I spent more time out, during the school year. And I thought to myself, I said "self" and myself said "yes" I said "self what do I need to do different " and myself said "for one kill your sister" (jk)... (I babysit my lil sis during the day). But anyway I just think we the three Musketeers need another person to hang out with us.So here is the add.
The three musketeers are looking for a fourth member to make themselves the four horsemen.The person should preferrably not be an asshole and somewhat clean.Must know James Langley, Monte' J. Howell and Paul Gourdeau and be able to quote Dave Chapelle. The person cannot be an idiot unless it's funny.The person must share some interest with Mr.Howell and have atleast talked to one of the three.And just because Mr. Howell and Mr.Langley really like to say this, you cannot be a cock juggling thunder-cunt. This person can be a female(you just have to be able to keep your mouth closed about three musketeer stuff),and Courtney Holden does not count because she is an honorary member.
For those interested leave a comment with your name or call toll
free to: (678)-471-5565 |
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| I think this is actually close to right... |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|01:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  no worries | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Frank Sinatra ~ Hello Detroit | ] |
...except for the first one that's sorta creepy.
The Keys to Your Heart
|
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
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| I am at peace... |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|12:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Fuck these niggas hatin on me | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Trick Daddy featuring Bubba Sparx ~ We Ready | ] |
Because Paul is back !!! Happy Fathers day you cock juggling thunder cunts. |
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